Questions

When we started the adoption process, I read a lot of books on how to answer the uncomfortable questions that I was sure we would undoubtedly be asked. Our adoption agency even had us take an online course on exactly this subject. I expected people to ask us "Is he yours?" "How much did he cost?" etc. We really haven't come across any of those yet, but the one question we are asked constantly is "Why did you decide to adopt?" Some people ask because they are curious, some because they are thinking of adoption. I am really not offended by this question, and I find myself talking about our infertility, and our subsequent decision to move forward with adoption.

However, I am struggling with the response I have been giving, because it seems a little like I'm making Spike seem like Plan B. And nothing could be further from the truth. Yes we experienced infertility, and yes, that may be the initial reason that we considered adoption, but I know in my heart that Spike was meant to be a part of our family no matter how that came to be. Truthfully, Andy and I just wanted to have children, and we have realized through all of our experiences that it didn't matter how we became parents. We love both our children more than we could have ever imagined, and it makes no difference if they are both biologically ours or not. Adoption was not our "plan B" or our "back-up plan." It was another way of making all of our dreams come true, and bringing the perfect child into our family. I am so lucky to have Monkey and Spike as my children, and know I was meant to be the mother of both my little miracles.

So now when people ask me why I decided to adopt, I will simply answer "Because I wanted a child."