Very recently, there have been some great things happening for some of my friends that I've met in the adoptive community. Referrals and travel calls...trips to Korea. The happiness I feel for these ladies has made me realize how very important these women have become to me.
I've also had a few conversations lately that has made me understand some possible reasons why we all seem to click so well. In March, I was lucky enough to see the movie "Going Home" with a few of these friends. It was about a Korean adoptee's journey to Korea to meet his birth mother and sister. It was a truly amazing movie, and is hard to put into words how powerful it was. After the movie the group of us went to dinner. There was a lot more talking than eating going on, and many different subjects came up. One of the other mom's mentioned that she had joined an area playgroup, and had fun, but didn't seem to click as well with those mom's as she does with us. The rest of us agreed.
When I wrote my post about going to visit family, and letting the boys stray from their schedule, almost all of you wrote how impressed you were in the comment section. And how you would also have a hard time doing the same. Andy couldn't believe that so many of us were so similar in that way, and he and I spent a long time talking about it.
What I realized is (in my humble opinion) that it takes a special kind of person to be an adoptive mother. To go through the long and often painful road that has led us here. But I think because of all that, we are stronger people who love our children unconditionally. We are organized and schedule oriented so that we can keep track of all of our paperwork. We are in control so that we can advocate for our children, whether we are still waiting for them, or have them home. We will NEVER EVER take our beautiful children for granted, and are willing to do whatever we need to so that they have the best opportunities in life. We fall in love with a picture and wait and plan for months for our child. We can appreciate the sleepless nights because we know that will bring us closer to our children. We educate ourselves on how to deal with comments, ignorance and curiousity. We are willing to do whatever it takes to be the best mothers that we can be. And that bonds us more closely and quickly than it does with others, because not just anyone can understand that.
I am truly thankful that I have all of you ladies in my life. You are not only my adoptive mom friends, but my friends in real life.
11 comments:
I love this post! It voices some of the feelings I have had, but in a much more eloquent way than I could have. Thanks so much for sharing this!
I'm tearing up reading this. Because of how you accurately described how we're a bit "different" in a good way as moms and also because I'm one of those friends :)
That conversation had an impact on me and was sort of an a-ha moment.
Very well said, Kara! I completely agree. It is wonderful to connect with other moms through adoption, and I'm so glad that you are one of the moms I've connected with!
Very true - it takes a unique person to wade through the tough road of adoption. I often feel like we APs just want it more... you know what I mean? We work sooooo hard to get our little ones home that we don't take it for granted once they are in our arms. That's not to say that bio parents don't appreciate their kids... it's just that our situation is unique, but we share it with each other. Thanks for writing this post!
What a great post!! I'm so glad you are one of the people that adoption as brought into my life.
Great post! I know we are still in the more beginning stages of our adoption journey, but even with that I feel like there is this unspoken bond between adoptive parents, like we just get it without having to say anything.
Kara, I'm tearing up too! This gave me goosebumps. You said it so well!!! I'm so happy we are friends!
i cried when i read your last paragraph. i, too appreciate the friendship i have with other APs - i love all my AP momma friends! i'm so glad i met you, Kara, and i'm excited to get to know you and your family better!
I feel like I've been in the adoption world for such a long time. The other day I was thinking that I seen to grow closer to my adoption friends and farther away from my childhood friends. I realized that we are all kindred hearts... a group of related hearts. Thank you, Kara, for having such a wonderful heart!
Kara - that made me tear up! Beautifully written and I feel the same way. We are very lucky to have you and Andy in our lives.
Love you,
Patti
What a wonderful post. You really hit on something that connects us all, I think. It's amazing how close I feel to the women and families I have met through adoption. I'm so glad to count you in that group!
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